From a Milwaukee Journal Sentinel story about new procedures to determine if police are stopping drivers based on race:
Anonymous Commenter: rod paulsonodp8449
Anonymous Comment: "Here's a thought-----4 black guys walking towards you or 4 white guys. Why does a chicken cross the road.........."
Probable Bio: As the stale eggnog/B.O. stench of the holidays quickly fades, and the spicy, slightly
Patrick Duffy-esque aroma of 2011 takes hold, a brand new year of possibilities stretches before us. Peace in the Middle East, a robust economy, and a bold re-imagining of
Hamburger: The Motion Picture are just a few of the many exciting goals we as a nation can achieve. Come on, people. These
Dick Butkus bobbleheads aren't exactly selling themselves.
Here at
AnonymousComm (that's our new Twitter handle, yo), we're thrilled to kick off 2011 with a comment from
rod paulsonodp8449, a smart, erudite social observer in the vein of
Oscar Wilde and
Joseph Mitchell. Oops, just kidding. He's just another dumb Wisconsin redneck and a total piece of shit.
Before embarking on his less-than-lucrative career as a racist putz, rod found some success in the world of mixed martial arts, a.k.a. professional nut-kicking. While undistinguished as an actual fighter, his in-ring antics made him a star. He was known to fluster his opponents with dramatic readings from
Edward Packard's Choose Your Own Adventure series (
Prisoner of the Ant People was particularly tricky), and would occasionally delight the crowd by eating his weight in stale bubble gum sticks from old
Donruss hockey cards while humming the theme to
Night Court.
A nasty, career-ending injury involving a can of creamed corn and a clearly inebriated
Hugh Downs led to the realization of rod's many artistic ambitions. During the early-aughts, he joined a ragtag martial arts performance troupe that staged elaborate demos before screenings of
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Art-house hipsters and middle-brow moms across the country were so impressed that they actually fooled themselves into believing
Crouching Tiger was a good film, and not, in fact, another steaming turd from the pockmarked bottom of director
Ang Lee.